Monday, March 12, 2012

Hoping aunt flo would come visit... for once!

I am such a mess right now. Emotionally, and ED- wise. I hope this is temporary and it's just a pms thing... but I have yet to see that darn monthly curse show up... so maybe it is just the depression and crap coming back full force.

Also, sleep has sucked lately. My meds give me crazy dreams (more on that below) and I wake up so many times during the night between dreams that I don't think I ever really enter a deep enough sleep to feel rested in the morning... I decreased the dose (not on my own- my psych told me to try it) and so far it's just been more of the same. In consequence, I am exhausted. So exhausted, all day, that it is even harder to fight ED thoughts and urges.

So, as I mentioned, I have been having crazy, extremely vivid dreams lately.  The most exciting and memorable of which is one that i had a couple weeks ago and I have proceeded to re-tell it countless times to pretty much everyone I encounter on a day-to-day basis.  Because it was just so bizarre that it needed to be repeated.  I really think a lot of my dreams lately should be movies or reality shows or books.  But I lack the skills to turn them into either.
This infamous dream involved myself, Katy Perry, and Celine Dion.  All three of us were locked up in this strange warehouse, competing for our lives in this weird karaoke challenge.  We were to complete the challenge before midnight, otherwise the building would blow up and kill us all...  HOWEVER, me and Katy were able to fly.  And we were INVINCIBLE! So once we realized we had 5 minutes left and were nowhere near completing this task, we knew were screwed, we flew out the window.  Celine, on the other hand, did not have our superpowers and was left there to die.  


AND THEN... flying through the sky, I happened to come across a huge, magical tree fortress within the clouds.  As I flew up into it, I met up with a frog, atop a display of pickles.  
Yes, pickles. He proceeded to teach me about the various types of pickles in existence.  

That's not even the only dream I had that night, either... But if I were to continue this would become a very long post.

Well, I think that's pretty much it...  I just needed to put this out there because it was one of my goals to journal more and then I realized how long it has been since my last post here.

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